she was panting heavily, her fading vision went completely black as she was thrown over that edge. her head thrown back, her nails softly biting into his shoulders. she felt his hot seed as he emptied himself, but she also noted small glimpses of pain in his gaze. she knew it! sulimon was still hurting. her gaze narrowed momentarily, she would have to have a little talk with him later. she could tell he was wiped out, without a word she rolled off to lay beside him. he was out. with a small, half smile, she got up. still panting, she silently made her way to the bathroom and to the shower.

after a hot shower, scrubbing until she was sure every bit of kraven's blood was washed off her ivory skin. with a heavy sigh she slipped out of the shower, shutting off the hot water. looking around the small bathroom, she found the towels and wrapped herself in the soft material. grabbing another towel, she made her way back to the tub. soaking the towel in warm water, she went back to the small room that was the cabin. the sight brought another soft smile to her face....sulimon was so peaceful when he was sleeping. she shook her head softly, sitting down softly beside him careful not to wake him, she was getting soft these days. there would have been a time only months before that she would have disappeared at a time like this, leaving the poor guy to wander where she left. she would never leave him, she vowed.

another soft smile. she began slowly wiping the remaining blood and sweat from his chest, arms, neck and forehead. she glanced down at him again, noticing that he seemed a bit paler then usual. she supposed he would have to feed sooner or later. she turned her gaze to her wrist. if she mixed his serum with her blood, she guessed that it would do until he was well enough to hunt....and when he was dressed. her smile returned, finding herself suddenly lost in thought. even with kraven gone, their future would still be rocky. her thoughts took a sudden for the worse, remembering what her friends had said..what some of her 'friends' went through because of pregnancy. her thoughts turned to celyeste, raven left her because he knocked her up and then again with her other friend, she had lost the babe before it was born and shortly after that she was killed by her husband. she had known many stories of men leaving the woman they had knocked up, most of them not wanting to deal with the illnesses the females go through or the celibacy they would be forced to face.

would sulimon do that? every man kamenwati had ever met turned on her eventually- even her very own father. she had never trusted anyone as she trusted sulimon, but that could really set her up for a huge fall. suddenly her eyes were swimming with fresh tears, her chest heaving with silent sobs. what if he left her? beat her? or worse? what...what would she do? these last months, she had always known sulimon, had trusted him with her life. would she be a proven fool because of it? she could just read his mind and figure out if he had chosen somebody else, but what would she do if that happened? then, she pulled her knees to her chest, her head falling into her lap- drowning in her newfound misery.

how long had she been like this? she couldn't even answer that question. kamenwati sat frozen, oblivious to the rising sun, to the room around her and even to the woods beyond the cabin. she did, however, notice that sulimon wasn't sleeping soundly and by the musky scent of new sweat and slight fear- she guessed him to be in a nightmare. she had been about to wake him when she held back, shaking her head again, it would probably be best just to let things get sorted out for him. her eyes hurt and her head was throbbing, but she ignored that too- still staring unblinking at the shadows of the cabin. from every experience that she had ever had with pregnancy, it was always bad- mostly for the female.her own mother had been beat within inches of her life on many occasions, even after kamenwati was born...just because she got pregnant, before that kamenwati's father swore love to her. her dark gaze narrowed at the memories that now flooded out the rest of her destructive thoughts.

perhaps there would be some good if sulimon left- she would have this kid. she had watched celyste and her children on the journey to escape kraven and raven, the vampire loved her children dearly. perhaps kamenwati would learn to pick up her life for her baby. or she would end up falling on her face. either way, kamenwati vowed to try- and that was a start, right?

she had been so consumed in these thoughts that she hadn't even noticed that sulimon was awake. in fact, she hadn't noticed anything until she was enveloped in a new warmth, one that instantly warmed the almost death-like cold that was now her body. she smiled, though it was a weak one, as sulimon spoke. she should tell him everything- but she would say nothing. weakly, she shook her head. "its stupid" she rasped."its......nothing important." it was the truth. it was nothing overly important, to him. she tried shaking her head again, but a wave of nausea swept through her. instantly, she leapt out of sulimons grasp and ran into the bathroom. turning, she shut and then locked the door- refusing to let sulimon see her retch......

minutes later, she emptied the contents of her stomach and more. chest heaving for air now, she rinsed her mouth out with water and mouth rinse.

so there he was....standing in silence and waiting for answers and- nude. she couldn't hide the small, half smile that danced across her lips as her gaze slid over his body. just as she couldn't hide the sharp intake of breath that came with seeing him nude, especially in the morning's light. with that lopsided, weak half smile still lingering, she wondered if that would ever change- if she could ever get over seeing just how wonderful he looked. with a heavy sigh, she padded over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist- her head resting on his chest...right over his heart. mentally, she kicked herself- she shouldn't have said anything...perhaps it would be her stupid ideas that would finally drive sulimon away. with another long intake of breath, she angled her head up so that she could see his reaction. "don't be mad, 'kay?" she whispered, though it sounding more like a plea.

with that, she slowly closed her eyes. she hated talking about her problems, her fears...but she owed sulimon at least that much. so, refusing to open her eyes, and her grip around his waist tightening slightly, she spoke. "i- i......i don't want to be alone. ever. and not just alone-alone...i mean i don't want you to leave....ever. i mean, look at celyste....raven left her after she got pregnant and she's happy now and all...but it was hard on her and it will always be hard. and my mom- my mom was killed because she got pregnant. my father hated her for that. and my friend dawn got pregnant and her husband cheated on her and then left her. and there have been many, many, many cases of men leaving women after they get them pregnant. they get bored, or they fight, or they don't want to deal with it. and they all have bad, horrible endings to these stories. i've never heard of a couple staying together through pregnancy...they always have to go their separate ways. but you-......you can't leave. you're all i have, you and this baby. and and and- i know, i mean..i just.....i.....i" she broke off, having just said everything in a rush and in one breath. tears flooded her eyes and silently ran down her cheeks. though she kept her eyes closed tight, not wanting to see his reaction. she was trembling now, her chest heaving with silent sobs.

after a moment, her arms fell to her sides and she took a few steps back. using the sleeve on the over sized shirt, she wiped away the lingering tears and dampness. with a tiny shrug that hardly even showed through the shirt, she took a deep breath. finally, she forced herself to meet his gaze, trying to put on a blank mask..and failing miserably. even as she tried, more tears flooded her gaze but did not fall. "i.....i'm sorry." she rasped. she hated feeling like this, the whole revealing your latest fears and then begging somebody to stay with you had drained her completely. her eyes were red both from her lack of sleep the last few months and from her recent crying. her ebony hair was tumbling down to almost her hip, still messy from last nights activities and was now curling slightly in the morning's dampness. she looked almost like a small child again, except her curves showed every time the morning's breeze drew the shirt against her. her gaze fell now, her hands balling into tight fists, waiting for sulimon to laugh....to yell.....to answer her ramblings.....for anything..any sign from him....

when he first spoke, the only thing kamenwati could manage was a small nod to answer the question. she was glad when he took her into his strong embrace again, her arms slowly wrapping around his waist again. her head resting over his heart once again and for a moment, kamenwati drew his strength and warmth. when he started in again, fresh tears flooded into her eyes- though this time not from uncertainty or fear or loathing but rather from joy. he wasn't going to leave her, he said so! another lopsided smile pulled at the corners of her mouth until it danced across her features completely. they could do this, after all if the could survive everything they have been through with kraven and raven and with living with varg in the cabin and still come out as a happy couple, then they should be able to survive this just fine. right? kamenwati refused to question it further, sulimon had said he would stay...and she had alice and toki...and even if she sometimes refused to admit it, she kinda liked katrina and her constant challenges- she made things interesting. when he spoke again, this time of her apology, she shook her head. "wrong. i'm getting weepy already." she spoke, turning her gaze up toward him. "and being weepy is never fun for anyone." she added.

that brought her thoughts back to the kids, all left back at the apartment when sulimon had stormed out and kamenwati had planned some heroic mission. with a heavy sigh, she stepped out of his embrace again, her gaze sliding toward the cabin and then back to him. "i sppouse we should get back and check on the kids. if kraven's spies and what not's are dead then i'm sure alice and katrina have finished the destruction of the apartment." she added. she almost couldn't wait to get back home, to start planning the building of a house....one big enough to two teenage females, that was near the woods to give them both even more room...and she couldn't wait to see how they had faired through kraven's attack either. however, she would miss her time alone with sulimon. before they had been forced to run, and now they live in a cramped apartment with three kids that seemed to want to talk or fight in their down time.....leaving little time for her and sulimon to be alone.

with a smile, she turned back to sulimon, her gaze sliding over his body once agian...smiling at the instant warmth that had spread throughout her own body. "but first, you need to get dressed. i don't think the kids would enjoy you running into the apartment naked." she laughed at the thought, they would be horrified and katrina would be pissed....and her company would be embarrassed. alice had mention that somebody had come to the apartment and had saved them from kraven's army and that this male had known katrina quite intimately, for they had kissed, but that was all alice had to give her. her gaze went back to sulimon, he wouldn't like the news that his sister had some male chasing after her...hell, even kamenwati wasn't quite sure about it herself....but katrina deserved to be happy too. she grinned again, thinking of sulimon's reaction when he met this guy...and this guy's reaction when he had to face down a suddenly pissed off sulimon. it would be quite interesting.........